Tuesday, June 14, 2011

if. there is a tomorrow

Life is so unpredictable, no one knows if there is a tomorrow waiting...

An irresponsible driver almost got me killed today... Although i have the habit of making sure that the road is safe before crossing (even if it’s the right of way for pedestrian at green light), but no matter how careful one is, accident still happens. Earlier today, i was half way crossing at a near empty road when a car appeared suddenly at high speed. Maybe the driver failed to notice the red light, or in the first place, his intention was never to stop since the road was so empty... Luckily, it did manage to brake just a few inches away from me at the last second. i have survived unscathed, but my legs still feel a bit numb as i type this... they were so closed to becoming mince meat.

i wonder if i’m lucky or unlucky, but this is my third time brushing passed death. The last one was an accident in traffic-chaotic Hangzhou when the cab behind crashed into the cab that i was in. Everything happened in a split second – loud screaming, then my head hit real hard onto the back seat. There was no immediate pain except that my head felt heavy and numb from the strong impact. Everyone in the cab would have been killed if we were travelling on high speed. It’s been more than a year since, although i’m not sure if it is the after effect of the accident, i am having headache very often as compared to before.

The first, which was the most rememberable, happened more than 10 years ago in Tioman island. i used to be a confident swimmer and being young and ignorant then, i thought it was alright not to wear a life jacket. But anything can happen when you’re out at sea. The wave was extremely strong that day, the yacht couldn’t go any nearer to the island and the other alternative was to swim there. Shortly after we jumped into the water, i realised the breathing apparatus that i was wearing turned out to be faulty and i had no choice but to remove it. The wave kept hitting on my face, making it difficult to breath normal above water. i was falling behind the rest and worse, making no progress towards the island at all. i kept threading water to stay floating but i could feel my limbs getting weaker and weaker, and till a point i told myself: this is it. i remember the scene very clearly till today – suddenly everything stood still, no more struggling, not a single sound, it was peaceful. i looked around me, panning from left to right slowly, then closed my eyes and i thought: “So, this is where i am going to die”.

A typical drowning scene in the movie does happen in real life... But of course, i didn’t die, i was saved. After that incident, i was so scared of water i stopped swimming for years.

So, you tell me, am i lucky or unlucky?


jooja! said...

i would say you're lucky. who brushes so closely to a fate of death and call themselves unlucky? in this, you should be thankful you're still alive to create the life you have in mind and enjoy the things you love doing. you even made the construction site look interesting in your photo!

but in the same wave of thought, from a different perspective, i would say perhaps, you're unlucky. unlucky in a way that those incidents may have brought fear into your mind. not that you should ever cross the road recklessly, but you may reconsider when making certain choices and fear you're making the wrong choice although it was your right of way.

in my opinion, there's no really "lucky" or "unlucky". life itself is not always a bed of roses and we can only try to embrace what is dealt to us. and i can only say i'm thankful and fortunate that you're lucky enough not to be hurt and still able to take lovely pictures of a world we share and capture moments and things i don't see.

chinghar said...

you are LUCKY!!! go temple and 拜拜